Come on in, it's comfortable in the nest

I'd love to add a picture here of the nest with our robins in it on the tree branches. Dale painted it on an Ohio shaped piece of slate we found on our honeymoon in New York. He cleaned and baked it, drilled a couple holes in the corners and knotted rope through it so we would be able to hang it up in our home. He was a talented artist, poet, loved God and his Savior, a great cook, and loved to suprise me taking me to differnt historic spots and learning about them. We did a wonderful tour of Amish Country, Niagra Falls, the Mormon historic town here in Kirtland, OH, Wine Country. He taught me about pottery he collected. We had fun refinishing our bathroom into a "Fisherman's Closet" is all I can say to describe it. We had started gardening. I try to keep it up in memory of him, but HE had the green thumb. Not me so much. Since my sister lost her husband in April I have been regrieving with her as well as dealing with my Mom who has Alzheimer's. It's an awful disease. We slowly lose a part of her each day. Some days it's not so noticeable and we are fortunate that she has a sense of humor that we have to actually do a doubletake and wonder if she really has the disease. My dear sweetie, Steve, says we should take her on the road. We'd do better than the Blue Collar Comedy Club team! She is an Elvis Presley fan. She remembers him. We shopped a day at the local Goodwill and she found a doll replica of Elvis with his guitar and swivel hips and it's her favorite toy. On our way to my daughter Chrissy's yesterday she told me she wanted to find someone and get married again. Was that ever out of the blue!! My luck she would and then "forget" she got married and take a devilish delight in living in sin! Ha ha ha! Definately have to write that certificate in BOLD Sharpie and hang it on the wall. I have her and my dads wedding certificate , it's a Catholic scroll with beautiful artistry 16x20 size, framed over the bookcase. Can't miss it. She says I haven't seen my marriage certificate in a long time! That's the way of her.
Well I can tell my emotions are all over the place today. I am still exhausted from our vacation home, that Mother doesn't remember. We went to Fulton, KY, Union City, TN, Henderson, TX,Wynne, AR, Memphis, TN to visit family and friends we haven't seen in awhile. Good thing we took pictures.
Seems we got home in time. Carolyn's cat was due to have kittens. She had them yesterday. Three in all we believe. She hid herself in what will become the computer room at my sisters. There are so cute even though I haven't seen them yet. I know I will want to bring one home, but we have allergies and I want to continue to travel for as long as I can. I love being out on the open road.

Monday, December 8, 2008


Well It doesn't seem like I can keep up with blogging or anything else in my life! Why do the days pass so fast?
(This cat will be me if I don't get a move on!)

We brought Mom home for Thanksgiving, but she is totally detached living in just the moment. I hate having her at Longmeadows. I have been so depressed and crying and she is too! I have come to terms that I am not able to care for her, but I feel like I'm a weakling and that I should have more faith and trust in God. Mom said being at Longmeadows feel slike she is just there waiting to die. I never wanted her to feel that way! I know I would feel that way, sometimes I feel that way now.

Wow, the nursing home just called and was confirming appointments that I have on the 11th and 18th. Mary Kay said she just saw Mother and that she had a smile on her face and was talking to people she passed by on her way to physcial thearpy. That made me feel better. I wish folks there would slow down and act like they want to talk to you. Maybe it is just my nerves and crying at the drop of a hat.

I have been sick since Mom went to the hospital. It's been one thing or another.

Plus the weather is bitter cold, 8 degrees and snow! After falling on the ice and knocking myself out last February I am scared to death of the ice. I had hoped that we could have all moved to Arkansas this past summer's end, but it didn't work out. It must not be in God's timing yet.

Right now I feel so lost and disconnected.

Spencer called me Saturday filled with the Holy Spirit and urging me to be back in church. As much as I love him and thankful for his prayers and support for some reason it made me want to do just the opposite of what he was urging. That had to be Satan. I know I need to be there, but I'm not even sure which church to attend. I have the Catholic church which has not been very supportive in the past, but which my sister attends, and then I like the Baptist church and I have the Mormon church. I guess I don't have to join any as long as I attend with fellow believers. Spencer is right in that God says we are not to forsake gathering with other believers. I atched Dr. Charles Stanley on Saturday night,. Carolyn went to church Sunday at St. Matthews and brought me back the bulliten. It's the second week of Advent and teaching about "practicing peace" and how to wait. This must be my time of waiting.

The article mentioned , "If you hope to act in ways that promote peace, you need to spend time cultivating the inner peace, out of which you will act. an ancient practice is to pray the psalms. According to St. Basil the Great, the wors of the psalms calm our inner turmoil, transform our sinful tendencies, bring us inner peace, and promote reconciliation."

So here I am today.

Steve and I have been watching the stock market. It paid off well for him today. He has invested in SLV. God has truly blessed him and his son. He has been my guardian angel since Dale died. Actually before I ever met Dale he was my guardian angel, but we had lost touch.

I need to get busy and make some cookies for the nursing home. I know Mother would enjoy them. I also have to get prepared for my interview on Thursday for medicaid for Mother and possibly for myself.
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